


It Will Come Back

by PrettyMessedUpSituation (MarcelinesNightosphere)



Series: From Eden [10]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Canon, Angst, Canon Compliant, Choices, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Last Kiss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-29
Updated: 2015-04-29
Packaged: 2018-03-26 06:36:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3840760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarcelinesNightosphere/pseuds/PrettyMessedUpSituation
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After their mix up with Veritas and Dean finds out something is wrong with Sam, Dean makes a decision to go see Lisa - half hoping she doesn't answer the door and half hoping he could just stay with her and Ben.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It Will Come Back

**Author's Note:**

> Based on "It Will Come Back" by Hozier.  
> Directly after 6x06, "You Can't Handle the Truth"  
> Don't talk to me about Dean and Lisa.

His hands were hurting from their tight grip on the steering wheel. The skin on his knuckles felt as if it would break open even more than it already was if he didn’t let go, but his hands locked in this familiar position on the wheel anchored him. The blood was beginning to dry on his skin, cracked open from the pummeling he had given Sam.

The Veritas curse had turned his world upside down again. Lisa was fed up with him and his inability to deal with his emotions, not to mention the drinking, knowing he’d choose Sam over them when it came down to it. Dean knew he couldn’t keep moving them, showing up, then just leaving again. She was right. When Sam was gone and being with him wasn’t an option, Dean couldn’t have been more satisfied with a normal life than with what he had with Lisa and Ben. But Sam was back. Not whole, apparently, and Dean needed to find out what was wrong with his brother. He’d call on Cas as soon as he had his head right.

His foot tapped the gas pedal, something in him begging for Dean to start the car and go. Lisa was two hours away. He could make it to her in less and be back before morning. Unless he stayed. Dean punched the steering wheel and winced, cursing and cradling his fist.

Tears hot with anger raced down his face. The thoughts firing inside his head were a mess. Why did he have to make these choices? Who got Sam out of hell and brought him back broken? He couldn’t leave Sam. But why couldn’t he just...couldn’t he just have _a chance?_

“Fuck it.” He started the car.

Dean arrived outside the house just before eleven. He sat in the car for a moment, looking at the house he could have called home, the driveway where he could busy himself working on cars in his off time, the road where he could teach Ben to drive. He shook his head and got out of the car, trying to shut the door quietly. He sent a text message to Lisa as he walked up to the door, asking her to meet him. Tonight was hard enough; he didn’t want to drag Ben into it too if he could avoid it. It’d be better for the kid if he didn’t know Dean had even showed up. He stood on the porch waiting, leaned up against the doorway. It was all he could do to not pace while he half-hoped she never answered, or text him and told him to just go away. A few minutes later he heard footsteps at the door and the sound of her trying to unlock the deadbolt as noiselessly as she could. Dean braced himself, holding his breath until Lisa opened the door and he could read her expression. She opened the door with some hesitancy. Dean still would not have been surprised if she closed the door and locked it without having said a word. His chest tightened up when she looked at him. She looked apologetic for her honesty in their last phone call. Lisa reached out her hand and smiled, letting everything else worrying him melt away. She had that affect on him. Dean held back tears as he took her hand and followed her inside.

Lisa pulled out some leftovers and warmed them up, making a plate for Dean. He sat at the table and watched her. When it was ready, she pushed the plate in front of him, returning to the kitchen before she sat next to him and passed Dean a soda and a fork. She waited for him to start eating before she started.

“What are you doing here? Is it about what I said? Because I don’t know what came over me, Dean, I shouldn’t have been so harsh.”

Dean put down the fork and finished chewing before he spoke. “Lis, it wasn’t your fault. And it’s not like you were wrong.” Lisa propped her head up with her hand, not knowing what to say. He smiled at her. “Thanks for the food.”

“Figured you might have missed a meal. Your hands okay?” Lisa took his left hand and babied it. “When you’re done I’ll clean you up.”

Dean nodded. She let go of his hand and let him finish eating, just watching him. That she was doing this - feeding him, feeling guilty, cleaning up his bloody knuckles - it hurt. Her kindness pained him.

Lisa led him upstairs to her bathroom and wet a washcloth. While Dean dabbed the blood off of his skin, Lisa pulled out a med kit with antibiotic ointment and gauze. She was too good to him. She wrapped his hands and held the gauze in place with pieces of medical tape.

“I’m sorry, Lis,” Dean said, his voice cracking.

She kept her head down, holding his hand in hers. “Stop.”

“Lisa.” Dean touched her cheek and felt it was wet with tears. “Hey. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have come here. Don’t do this.”

“What ‘this’ am I doing?” she asked, anger rising in her voice.

“Feeding me when I show up at your door, bandaging me up. Being nice. Being...you.” Dean wiped his face with his hands. “You guys deserve so much better than this - than me.”

“Stop,” Lisa said. “Just _stop_.” She packed up the things and put them back in the cabinet, wiping her tears away with the sleeve of her cardigan while she rinsed out the washcloth in the sink.

Dean stood. “I’ll go -”

“No.” Lisa put her hand on Dean’s chest to stop him. “Stay. Please.” Her chin quivered. “Or go. Whatever you need to do.”

Dean brushed her hair out of her face and saw how conflicted she was in her eyes, that same painful feeling he’d been wrestling with since Sam showed back up. He leaned down and kissed her. She kissed him back, a sob catching in her throat. Their clothes fell by the wayside while their mouths moved together, making up for lost time. Stripped and lips pink from use, Dean picked her up and carried her to the bed and lowered her down gently. He moved over Lisa, kissing her slow and deliberate. She held him as they moved together, breathy exchanges weaving together in between kisses.

They spent the night curled up together in bed, drifting in and out, arms wrapped around each other no matter how they were lying. When Dean saw the sun peeking through the blinds, he snuggled deeper. He didn’t want to wake Lisa. Something inside him felt like this would be the last time they would be together like this, and he didn’t want to let go.

Lisa woke when Ben’s alarm went off down the hall. She rolled over to Dean who was already awake, playing with strands of her hair.

“So. Are you here or are you...not?” she asked.

“Not,” Dean said with a sigh. “I don’t want to confuse Ben. Unless... _god Lis_ -”

“I love you, Dean,” she interrupted, her voice wavering. “I know you love us too. But the bottom line with you is your brother. He always wins out. And with your job, your life? It’s just too dangerous. Ben needs a little stability. I’ve told you before that we’d be here, but after last time - showing up unannounced drunk or whatever was wrong with you and shoving Ben - I can’t keep wondering what’s coming next.”

“Well, don’t hold back on my account,” Dean said. He was tired of this whole ‘the truth hurts’ lesson he was learning lately.

Lisa’s fingers moved through Dean’s hair and she rested her hand on his face. “If it were just us, we’d never say when.”

“Yeah. I like me and you when we’re _me and you_.”

“But Ben -”

“Ben needs someone who’s here. I get it. I know.” Dean closed his eyes. "And I wish...god I wanted it to be me."

“I wish it didn’t have to be like this, Dean.”

Dean shook his head. “Like you said. If one of us didn’t stop this, we’d just keep dragging it out. You get Ben ready for school. I’ll, uh, get dressed and wait ‘til he leaves.”

Lisa sighed and spoke slowly. “He’ll probably see your car.”

“So. I should leave now, while he’s in the shower.” Dean smiled, his eyes glassing over. This was it. He pressed his forehead to hers and took her hands in his, squeezing them as a few tears escaped, rolling onto the pillow. He breathed in the smell of her skin, the jasmine oil she used in her hair. He kissed her and pushed his forehead against hers again, desperate to not face what he had to do next.

Wasting no more time, he got up, got dressed, and he stopped at the door to listen to see if Ben was still in the shower. He turned to Lisa and nodded.

“You have my number?” he asked.

“A few of them,” she said with a smile and a sniffle, tears just waiting to come. She was holding strong, but barely.

Dean slipped out the door and down the stairs, pulling the door closed behind him as he left. He walked to the Impala and started driving, not looking back.

He needed to take care of Sam.

 

* * *

 

After Ben’s attempt at a set up, after Crowley’s demons, after Cas wiped their memories, Dean would pass by wishing he could walk up to the door and pick up that life he'd left behind. He’d leave a mix tape in the mailbox on Ben’s birthdays to make sure he was listening to decent music and send flowers to Lisa at work just because. After a few years, his visits would stop. She looked happy. Ben looked happy. He couldn’t lurk around their lives like a feral animal, begging for scraps and longing for domesticity.

He wished she’d never had let him in that night, but was so glad she came to the door. He never asked why she let him in, but he was pretty sure he knew the answer would be the same reason he’d stood in her doorway. Hope is a vicious thing. Part of him wished he’d stayed. He was a different person as soon as he was with them, something simple. But simple things are never that easy.


End file.
